Meow meow meow meow meow

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.


Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?


Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.


Moe: Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.


Ralph: When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.


Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right. [Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.


Chief Wiggum: Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!